If you want to know how well you are going to age, look to your lungs. The latest medical wisdom is that, of all measured body performances, lung function is the best predictor of longevity.
A man’s ability to get oxygen into his body – to breathe fast and deeply-will predict how long, in the absence of disease, he is likely to live. Fortunately people are equipped with much more lung function than they need. When humans were designed millions of years ago they needed a lot of lung capacity to survive – to hunt and to escape predators. But today, with modern lifestyles, they use only a small amount of their lung capacity. The rest is kept in reserve and drawn on during exertion or illness.
This reserve sustains people into old age. Although humans’ lung function usually peaks in their early 30s, older people are still sufficiently endowed for excellent performance because they can draw on this great reserve.
World records for marathon running show that times increase by a minute a year after the age of 30 or 31. The best time for a 70-year-old is about 40 minutes longer than the best for a 30-year-old. But that is still pretty impressive. It indicates that if a 70-year-old man is in excellent health, his age-related impairment will still allow him to run a marathon in under 3 hours.
As most men approach 70, however, they accumulate illnesses that affect their lung function and make them more vulnerable to disease insults, which, in turn, impede overall performance. As people age, their ability to oxygenate their blood declines measurably. This is not only because breathing is less deep and, as a result, less oxygen enters the lungs, but also because less of the oxygen in the lungs actually gets through the lung tissue and into the bloodstream.
The task of the rib cage and muscles is to pull the lungs out and keep them full of air. But the lung tissue itself is constantly trying to do the opposite and make the lungs collapse. Over-expansion or too much collapse can be harmful to lung performance.
The lungs are like balloons. As such, a major problem with them is that they become less elastic as they age, losing their recoil capacity. When this happens, people often develop expanded, or barrel, chests because the chest wall is increasingly able to expand unchecked by the counterforce.
When elastic stretch is lost in the lower parts of the lung, the little air tubes inside the lower lung collapse and air that is breathed in can’t get into them. Blood still travels around the lower lung trying to gather oxygen, but fails.
Lung function is largely genetically determined and, in general, tall people have better lung mechanics because there is less squashing of the abdominal contents, allowing the diaphragm – the breathing muscle – to work better.
Living in a nonindustrial setting and refraining from smoking both help to sustain good lung function. Maintaining an aerobic exercise pattern also helps, as does good posture and good abdominal, shoulder and neck muscle strength. Long-term playing of a musical instrument that demands lung power may also help.
Because much of the lung decline that accompanies ageing is invisible, an X-ray of an 80-year-old’s lung may look no different from that of a 30-year-old. But special stains that highlight elastic tissue would show dramatic anatomical changes.
Much of ageing is due to changes inside the tissues: reserve capacity inside the cells declines, and if there is an attack or insult on older tissue, function can be dramatically impaired. If a radiologist looks at X-rays of a 30-year-old and a 70-year-old with pneumonia covering 10 per cent of one lung, both pictures will look the same. The difference will be that the younger patient will be sitting in a chair, impatient about the delay and ready to go home, while the older patient will be lying on a stretcher, on oxygen, gasping for breath.
In older healthy people, declining reserve capacity does not interfere with day-to-day functioning. But when an illness is introduced, it can move them rapidly from feeling fine to feeling ghastly. It is characteristic of older people that they can be great one day and very ill the next.
The only way to check your lung function is to have a formal test. These tests have age- and sex-adjusted standards.
*122\105\2*
Australian men have never been so fat. More than half of them are now overweight or obese and research shows they are growing heavier by the year. The average man has gained about 3.5 kg in the past decade and, if the official Australian figures are correct, is presently laying down an extra gram a day.
This is happening despite the fact that men are drinking less and are more aware of the need to eat less.
Lack of exercise is not, as is often thought, the only culprit. The cause is far more complex. In the first instance it involves a subtle interplay between convenience and status.
Look, for example, at a small thing like an automatic garage door. When a well-to-do suburban man arrives home all he does is effortlessly push a button to open and close it. This activity probably uses up a fraction of a calorie, if he had manual garage doors, he would have to get out of the car, open the doors, get back in, drive in, get out and then close the doors. This could use three or four calories. If he went through this routine twice a day, he would make a significant dent in the nine calories contained in that extra daily gram that would otherwise be laid down as fat.
Similarly he could use that gram and more by hand-washing his car rather than pushing a button at the automatic car wash.
Convenience always comes with a price. The more convenient a man’s life becomes, the less he needs to move and the more at risk he is of growing fat. Convenience is creeping into every aspect of men’s lives. Where once they had to use a few calories to get to a bank, now they can use the telephone or Internet. If they want to lunch on a fat-laden pizza they don’t have to waste an ounce of energy procuring it. They just dial or fax and shuffle to the door to collect it.
These are all little conveniences but they have an incremental effect which male Australia is now amply demonstrating. At every age Australian men have more excess fat than women. National Heart Foundation figures show that 60 per cent of men over the age of 45 are overweight or obese compared to about 43 per cent of women of the same age.
The push for convenience goes beyond food and devices. It informs their lifestyle. Watch men circle a car park, looking for the spot closest to the entrance. They’re circling to save a few steps, to minimise their energy expenditure. What they are saving their energy for, no-one knows! At the workplace, men with the highest status usually have parking spots closest to the building. Our social values are such that high status is now equated with low energy expenditure.
Studies show the average person in the UK in the 1990s was expending 800 less calories a day than the average person did in the 1970s. They were also consuming 750 calories less each day.
The individual effect of this net gain of 50 calories a day depends, to a large extent, on the nature of the calories consumed. Some foodstuffs don’t convert as readily to fat on the human body as others. While fats tend to be stored as fat, carbohydrates are used as more immediate sources of energy.
Fats are the enemy. Modern nutritionists tell men they can eat what they like – as long as they avoid fat. Cutting dietary fat is the key to weight loss and they urge men to read food labels so they know what they are eating.
Many men avoid obvious sources of fat like chips, cheese and
T-bone steak but will freely eat biscuits and salad dressing which have loads of hidden fat. Labels must be read for fat content, not just calories.
If Australian men reduced the level of fat in their diet from 38 to 28 per cent, this would take up to 10 kg off their weight in a year. But that is a high hope as the consumption of fat has been steadily rising in the past two centuries.
This rise is vividly demonstrated in detailed records kept by a mental asylum in Paris. Since 1780 the asylum has recorded all food given to inmates. In 1780 inmates were fed about 2400 calories a day with a fat content of 12 per cent. By 1900 they were receiving 3300 calories of which 20 per cent was fat. In 1970 they had dropped to 2700 calories but the fat content of this diet had risen to 40 per cent.
More recent reseach mirrored this trend. It showed the fat content of the UK diet had increased by 50 per cent over the past 50 years. Basic calorie intake had decreased by around 20 per cent in the same period but this had been at the expense of carbohydrates. It blamed the increase in obesity on ‘sloths’ (reduced physical activity) and ‘gluttons’ (increased fat consumption).
Given that fat gets such had press these days, why do men still eat so much of it? Because they are biologically driven to do so. Fifty thousand years ago, if a caveman caught a fatty animal it meant he could survive longer. Fat has survival value and we’ve inherited a taste for it.
The problem is that over the years our gene pool hasn’t changed but our environment has. High-energy fatty fat food is now abundant and we have to expend virtually no energy hunting it. In just the last half century food that used to be a luxury has become a staple.
It’s a sign of social status to have high-energy food and not to have to move around to get it.
Another reason for its popularity is that fat is seductive. It melts and warms in the mouth and, more than other food, delivers flavour. When mixed with sugar, or a tantalising aroma, it becomes delicious. For many, fat also has associations with happy memories and celebration. Children’s birthdays and special occasions are usually celebrated with cakes not carrot sticks.
Fat, as a commodity, is highly desirable. No-one drives through a blizzard to get broccoli but they would to get chocolate. When you take a box of chocolates to dinner, it is accepted that you are taking something of value. But really, all you are taking are little nuggets of beautifully flavoured fat and sugar.
Sugar masks the presence of fat in many sweet foods. When eating a spring roll, the greasiness tells men they are eating something cooked in fat. But when they eat cheesecake it is smooth and sweet and there is no trace of grease.
The average man today eats fewer vegetables than his father did at the same age. He also goes out to eat more often and consumes far more convenience takeaway foods which are notoriously high in fat.
The problem with fat is that it is dense in calories (1 gram contains 9 calories, compared to 1 gram of carbohydrate, which contains 4 calories) and it doesn’t promote satiety. It’s difficult to tell when you’ve had enough. Fat consumption easily slips into the ‘eye-mouth’ gap – after eating it, you can’t estimate just how much you had.
Women suffer from this eye-mouth gap too – have equal access to fat but manage to carry less of it than men. This may be due to the pressure on the women to conform to the prevailing slim body image.
Men have less pressure. It is seemingly acceptable for them to carry pot bellies. They trivialise losing weight and joke about their tummies as ‘patios over the playground’.
Admitting fat is a problem would be tantamount to admitting weakness. Unlike women, men live with the ‘paradox of male company’. They want to talk to other men but can’t expose weakness. Before they venture to do so, they need social proof that it is acceptable, they need to see other men doing it first.
So even though they may be fat they’re under no psychological pressure to do anything about it. They don’t have to admit they’ve got a problem, don’t have to discuss it and are not being assisted in getting rid of it.
Women are knowledgeable about weight control and nutrition and have all the psychological complexities that go with years of pressure to conform to unrealistic norms.
Men invariably don’t have the psychological concerns because they’ve had no pressure but basically they are ignorant about issues of nutrition and weight control.
Traditionally, men also eat more. The pattern of eating more begins in childhood but as boys are growing and active, the excess doesn’t show. The pattern, however, is set and they continue eating too much. Past 30 their level of activity falls and it begins showing.
Mistakenly they attribute it to ageing. But ageing doesn’t cause weight gain. It’s the lifestyle associated with the ageing adult that does. If ageing were to blame, how could that explain why so many young men are overweight?
*97\105\2*
Even if you have been shy for 50 years, you can still learn a lot from ‘productive loitering’. Social gatherings are the ideal venue for this activity, and if your shyness precludes you from participating, the next best thing to do is to watch carefully how other men do it.
Instead of standing there feeling awkward and full of self-doubt, take the opportunity to do some ‘visual eavesdropping’. As you study others, you will notice that socially successful men employ numerous techniques to lubricate social intercourse. It’s in their body language, their small talk and their apparent self-confidence.
Shyness can isolate you. It can trap you into a solitary existence. If you consider that relationships are the basis of life, being cut off in this way is serious and lonely. The problem is that the more you fear and focus on your predicament, the worse you will become. The secret is to get out and have a go – but with appropriate support.
Being bright and at the top of your profession is no protection against shyness. Many men who are powerful and competent in the work sphere become wooden and incapable of conversation the minute they find themselves in a social setting. The best they can do is fight the temptation to run away. Such men are held hack by an inability to act spontaneously. They feel they have to live up to a certain standard and as a result become so concerned about the outcome of the social interaction that they lose track of the process. Control is a major issue. If they felt in control, their confidence would grow and they would manage the situation.
One technique for overcoming shyness is for men to learn to allay anxiety associated with social interaction and develop skills to cope with these interactions. Through this they will gradually build self-confidence in social settings.
Allaying anxiety is the easiest step. In an anxiety attack the heart thumps, breathing is shallow, the forehead is damp and the limbs shake. As individual symptoms, each one is fairly innocuous, but when experienced all together they can be extremely uncomfortable.
A systematic desensitisation procedure that involves learning to control the body and calm the mind can reduce almost any social anxiety. This is followed by visualisation exercises in which real-life social situations are imagined and followed through. Developing social skills is more challenging. To do this, shy men need to learn about body language. They need to observe how others communicate nonverbally using posture, facial expression, gesture, touch and eye contact and then practise these using video cameras and mirrors.
This done, they should learn the value of small talk by listening to the conversations around them. This will teach them how to generate small talk, which they can then learn to extend with devices such as personal anecdotes and open-ended questions.
Becoming socially confident and learning to deal themselves into a social interaction can take months. As meeting others is usually the ultimate goal for shy men, it is worth knowing about the ‘Fifi effect’, which draws its name from a dog that was originally used in a student’s experiment. The experiment was designed to test the thesis that while people on their own in public places are not likely to be approached by strangers and engaged in conversation, the presence of an attractive dog (or baby) increases the likelihood of such an interaction.
Rather than suggesting that every shy man rush out and buy a dog, the Fifi effect demonstrates that with the correct approach it is possible to make conversation with total strangers.
As men begin to emerge from shyness, some therapists send them on a mission of serious flirting. Flirting goes on in almost every place where people assemble. If they don’t know what to do, there are plenty of professionals for them to watch.
*73\105\2*
Men cannot stop themselves going bald but it is now scientifically possible to delay the process for a decade or two and perhaps even more.
This can be achieved through the use of a new drug called Propecia. Propecia is the fust genuine oral medication designed to prevent hair loss, and in most men it goes beyond this and actually reverses balding by stimulating new growth.
While this sounds like the answer to many prayers, there is a price. The drug has to be taken every day to maintain the effect. If a man wants to delay balding for a decade, he has to take one little brown Propecia pill every day for 10 years. Once he stops, balding will resume.
Although some pharmacies discount the price, the drug is expensive and usually costs about $80 a month on private prescription. For those who do not have private health insurance and therefore cannot get a rebate, the cost of taking it over a decade runs well past $9000.
Experts say that while the drug is effective for 99 per cent of men, those who want to use it have to be well motivated because it is slow to work. After about 4 months, half the men taking the drug notice less hair in their combs and less on the pillow in the morning. The other half don’t notice because they never look.
Waiting for results can be frustrating, because for many months the change is not readily apparent. Then, at about 12 months, men can be heard saying, ‘Hey, I’ve got no worse.’
As long as men stay on the drug, their existing hair will be protected and no more will fall out. The situation with regrowth is more complex. While propecia facilitates substantial regrowth in the first year, there is less in the second year and then even less or none in the third and fourth years. This does not necessarily mean that no new hair will grow in future. In its growth cycle, human hair usually grows for 2 years and rests for 2. It is not known if propecia will facilitate a new growth cycle again in years 5 and 6.
Men can use a special global scalp camera to monitor their progress. Using the same positions, settings and lighting, over a year the camera takes a close-up series of colour photographs of the scalp showing hair changes.
Male-pattern balding can start anytime after puberty. Traditionally, it begins with a receding frontal hairline, which is followed by a bald patch over the crown. Eventually all hair is lost except for a rim around the head. Twenty per cent of men will start showing signs of such hair loss by the age of 20, 30 per cent by the age of 30. As each subsequent decade passes, the percentage will increase proportionately.
Once balding begins, it continues in fits and starts for the next 10 to 40 years. Men commonly go through phases of accelerated hair loss lasting 3 to 6 months followed by periods of stability lasting 6 to 18 months.
The pattern of balding is determined by two things: genetic inheritance and male hormones. Little can be done about the inheritance (the balding gene is still to be found) but something can be done about the hormones. By interrupting the hormones, Propecia is able to put the genetic process on hold. The hormone that is linked to balding is a derivative of testosterone called dihydrotestosterone. The drug works by stopping the conversion of testosterone into this derivative. The beauty of it is that it does not interfere with testosterone levels in the body and therefore does not have any marked effect on virility or masculinity.
During clinical trials it was found that about 0.5 per cent of men reported either loss of libido or slightly softer erections. At higher doses Propecia is capable of shrinking an enlarged prostate and research is under way to see if smaller doses have a similar effect. Researchers are also evaluating whether this drug has a role in the prevention of prostate cancer.
Although the clinical trials were conducted on men with mild to moderate balding, the drug may also work on men with advanced balding. Some men with extensive hair loss have experienced regrowlh on Propecia.
Generally, the drug is well tolerated, and with long-term use, no adverse effects are anticipated. It will not cause men to sprout new hair in unexpected places – its action is confined to the head.
*50\105\2*
They cope as well as men do – which is not very well most of the time. The first few times women encounter impotence, they may not say anything, but if the problem persists, it will raise all their insecurities and they will start wondering if they are slim enough, attractive enough or young enough. They will also wonder if they have been replaced by an affair.
Most couples have adequate rather than terrific sex lives. Minor stresses such as demotion, moving or illness can cause them to drop into the dysfunctional band. Usually there is little in reserve.
In most cases involving older couples, erectile difficulties begin gradually. There are increasing stresses, and two or three episodes of impotence associated with tiredness, alcohol or arguments can signal the beginning of a downward spiral. After a few more episodes, the woman may become angry, insecure, suspicious and in need of validation.
As this occurs, the issue of intercourse becomes fraught with emotional difficulty and they refrain for I or 2 months. The longer they wait, the more difficult it becomes, as anxiety grows about who will initiate sex and whether it will work.
Younger women with higher sex drives can be intimidating, becoming angry at impotence and feeling that their partner is withholding his erection. But he is probably terrified, and men generally can’t get an erection when they are terrified.
Simply put, most women take impotence personally. They think that if a man is with a naked woman he should become aroused. There is an expectation that an erection is an automatic reflex, and when it is not there, women feel offended and confused. They don’t know what to do because almost everything they do makes it worse. The one thing everyone knows about erections is that the harder you try the softer it gets.
Although many women are supportive and understanding about impotence, plenty are hostile and punitive. It is astounding just how horrible women can be to men about their loss of erections.
Impotence may be a sign that the relationship is in difficulty. Some women forget that a man makes love with his heart and his mind too. They abuse, criticise and reject him and then still expect him to have sex with them. Osbon Medical Systems, the US company that first manufactured vacuum devices for impotence more than 20 years ago, now supplies its clients with a special booklet for partners, which gives a woman’s perspective on impotence.
The booklet highlights the subtle but significant distress the condition causes women. While acknowledging that there are all kinds of ways to express love and receive it, the booklet describes long-term male impotence as deeply distressing for many women.
The booklet emphasises that women experience frustration and disappointment too. It notes that many couples maintain a conspiracy of silence about impotence, unaware that they are caught in a double bind. If they openly address the issue, anxiety and stress may be generated. If they ignore the issue, opportunities for emotional and sexual closeness are lost.
It warns that impotence does not respond well to neglect and encourages women to explain their feelings to their partner and admit if intercourse is important to them.
Numerous women blame themselves for not ‘turning on’ their partners. Their partners avoid intimacy. They won’t even give their wives a kiss or a cuddle. This happens because men will often not become intimate unless they know there is a possibility intimacy can progress to intercourse. They won’t let women have one without the other, and they also don’t want to start something they feel they cannot finish. Impotence can cause previously warm, loving men to withdraw affection and avoid anything that might stimulate romance. And they won’t want to talk about it either.
It is a sign of a good relationship when couples discuss the problem openly. There may be a lot of self-blame. The woman blames herself and the man blames himself. They often find that sorting out this problem can be like starting again.
But there are women who think it is 100 per cent his fault. These men are deflated. They are told they are not as good as the next man, or worse, that they were never any good. This dynamic is a good indicator of the state of the relationship. Erectile difficulties don’t cause rifts in relationships; they widen existing rifts.
Some women, of course, privately welcome impotence. Although they may miss the physical closeness, they welcome the relief from obligatory sex. When, without prior discussion, their husbands return from an impotence clinic or from a doctor with a script for Viagra or injections, these women think ‘Oh dear’.
Before treating men for impotence, doctors should investigate the wife’s interest in sex. Although men regularly claim they are ‘doing it for her’, they are notoriously unreliable reporters in this regard.
*25\105\2*
The correct definition of arthritis is an inflammation of a joint. However, the term is widely misused and is frequently applied to vague aches in almost any part of the body. You cannot have arthritis in a part of the body like the middle of the thigh, for example, because it has no joint.
Joints of the body are found at the knees, wrists, elbows, fingers, and toes, and also the hips and shoulders. The neck and back have joints between the bones of the spine. Even if you do feel a pain in a joint, it may not always be arthritis, because there are many other parts that make up the joint structure. These include ligaments, tendons, muscles, cartilage, and bursas.
Symptoms of chronic arthritis are pain, swelling, stiffness, and deformity in one or more joints. They may appear suddenly or come on gradually. The aches and pains are not always the same. Some people feel a sharp, burning, or grinding pain. Others liken it to a toothache. Moving the joint usually hurts, although sometimes it is merely stiff.
The underlying cause of many cases of chronic arthritis is unknown. There are certain conditions that set off attacks of arthritis. Some of them are exposure to cold and dampness; a poorly balanced diet; infections of teeth, tonsils, or other parts of the body; an injury to a joint or constant strain upon it; attempting physical labour that is too hard for your age or strength; constant fatigue; and great nervous tension.
These factors also aggravate the painful symptoms of the disease.
These are some of the conditions a doctor considers when arthritis symptoms appear. He will look for other causes too, because occasionally a case of arthritis may be due to such diseases as gout or undulant fever. In younger people, it may be part of the picture of rheumatic fever, which, fortunately, does not ever cripple the joints.
The three commonest types of arthritis are infectious arthritis, osteoarthritis, and rheumatoid arthritis. The latter two are the most prevalent.
*278\68\2*
No one knows the complete answer to the difficult question about petting and sex relations for the adolescent. My attitude is very much the same as that of psychiatrist Dr. John Levy in his book The Happy Family. He says:
Advising adolescents about their sex life is a highly personal and individualized problem. You cannot recommend the same behaviour for all of them indiscriminately. I rather hope that my own daughter will pet or neck, or whatever the proper term may be, preferably with boys she knows well and likes, and only with her contemporaries. Love-making of this type is a healthy preparation for marriage. I hope that she will not have intercourse or end up merely a technical virgin. Quite aside from any moral implications, such a step is risky. If she does have a complete relationship, though, I most earnestly hope that she will know what she is about, that she will not go into an affair because she happens to be tight, or thinks it’s ‘the thing,’ or wants to prove that she can carry it off. These are my hopes. They are based on my observation of the kind of behaviour least likely to cause trouble in our particular social group. But she may order her life quite differently and be none the worse for it. If she is neither afraid of sex nor bamboozled by its glamour, I shall be very content. Note particularly the points Dr. Levy makes, which apply equally well to boys as to girls: (1) Adolescent love-making should be with friends who are approximately the same age. (2) A certain amount of petting and necking is a good thing as a preparation for the fuller, richer love of marriage. (3) If the young person prefers some other way, accept the decision with the hope that it will be a realistic one and will not cause unhappiness.
*222\68\2*
Long before your baby is due to arrive, you will undoubtedly have made arrangements for your confinement. The tentative date your doctor gave you at the first interview has been confirmed or corrected on the basis of later indications, and, after discussing your preferences on the type of hospital accommodation available, your doctor has made the necessary bookings for you. You have talked over the actual childbirth with your doctor and fully discussed the question of preventing or controlling pain.
Pain during childbirth
Whether or not a woman admits it, she can hardly fail to give some thought to the question of the pain connected with having a child. How bad will it be? Talk this over with your doctor. There is no doubt that fear and tension aggravate pain, especially labour pains, and that they are far less intense if the mother can relax.
Natural childbirth
An English doctor named Grantly Dick Read has worked out a method, about which you may have heard, called natural childbirth, or childbirth without fear. In order to make this possible, the prospective mother is helped from early pregnancy, emotionally as well as physically.
Emotional preparation consists of ridding the mother of all her fears. She learns exactly what happens during her pregnancy and at each stage of the delivery. She knows just what to do to keep the pain at a minimum. Physical preparation consists in doing exercises to limber up the muscles she will use when she delivers her baby.
Women who have had their babies by this method are usually very enthusiastic. They find it deeply satisfying to be conscious throughout the delivery, and thrilling to know the exact moment they have given birth and to see and touch the baby the instant he is born.
However, the use of this technique does require a great deal of time from the doctors and the nursing staff, who must be well trained and convinced of its advantages.
Most doctors use some form of anaesthetic or analgesic or both, during childbirth. An analgesic lessens pain.
What to take to the hospital
After your arrangements with the hospital are made, get together the things you will need. Pack the following:
A sanitary belt. The hospital will furnish the pads.
Toilet articles: toothbrush and toothpaste, comb, brush, hand mirror,
toilet water, cosmetics, and so on. Nightgowns. The hospital will furnish gowns, but after the first day
or two, you will want your own. Bed jacket, bathrobe, and bedroom slippers. Brassieres that you can wear while nursing. These fasten in front. Articles for your spare time: books, pen, writing paper, and stamps
*167\68\2*
As we all know from observing ourselves and the people around us, there is a lot of variety in human attitudes and behaviour. Some of the differences are the result of cultural heritage; others, of family attitudes. What is perfectly acceptable behaviour in one group might be considered entirely abnormal by another.
Realistic attitude towards life
The normal, emotionally mature adult faces facts whether they are pleasant or unpleasant. For example, he likes to drive his car, but he realizes that there are definite dangers attached to driving. Because he is mature, he takes special care to check the brakes, tyres, lights, and all the essential parts of his car at reasonable intervals. The immature person may say, ‘Accidents never happen to me, and refuse to take any precautions. Another type of immature individual may check his brakes every day and still lose sleep at night worrying about accidents.
Independence
The mature person forms reasoned opinions and then acts on them. He is not reckless or headstrong and seeks a reasonable amount of advice. Once he has the facts, he is capable of making a decision. He is willing to face the consequences of his decisions.
On the other hand, the immature person often has difficulty making up his own mind. He wants his relatives or friends or business associates to tell him how to proceed. When he is forced to make decisions alone, he may become upset, nervous, or even panic-stricken.
Ability to love others
The normal adult gets pleasure out of giving love to his children, spouse, close relatives and friends. Such a person is selective in love relationships and does not need a huge circle of friends and acquaintances. On the opposite side, the immature person finds it difficult to love others and wants always to be loved, to be fussed over, and to be the centre of attention wherever he goes.
Reasonable dependence on others
A mature person not only gives others affection and love; he also enjoys receiving them. The capacity for both giving and receiving love is dependent upon how a person feels about himself. The adage ‘Love thy neighbour as thyself implies that self-regard precedes regard for others. The ability to share, to give, and to receive love and friendship indicates that a person is flexible and adaptable.
Moderate reactions of anger and hatred
The normal person gets angry, of course, but he restrains his anger to reasonable limits. He may have to curb his temper in the face of petty annoyances, but he will try to work off his pent-up feelings by hitting a tennis ball rather than by hitting his children.
Ability to make long-range choices
The mature person can forgo an immediate gratification for the sake of long-range goals. For example, a mature young couple may decide to put off marriage for a few years in order to complete their education and get started in life.
Relaxed conscience
The normal person accepts responsibility and does his job well, but he enjoys his leisure hours and vacations. He and his conscience are at home with each other. The poorly adjusted person always feels driven to accomplish things, rarely enjoys his work, and is always worrying about how things could have been done better.
Good adjustment at work
A normal person usually likes his work and does it as well as he can. He does not change jobs often. When he does, it is on the basis of a realistic appraisal of the job and of the opportunity of getting another.
Love and tolerance for children
The mature adult likes children and takes time to understand their special needs. He will almost always take a few minutes off, no matter how busy he is, to help a three-year-old who is building with blocks or to answer the many questions of an older child.
Good sexual adjustment
The normal adult makes a good sexual adjustment. He or she is not prudish and enjoys the sexual act with a loved one of the opposite sex. Such a person does not need additional self-assurance or stimulation from love affairs or prostitutes.
Sexual adjustment also means accepting oneself as a male or female without conflict. It includes understanding the special problems of the other sex, and accepting the emotional difficulties these create.
Capacity for continued emotional growth
The ability to learn and grow emotionally is characteristic of the normal individual. This makes it possible for him to age gracefully, for understanding increases even though the ageing person has reached or passed his prime in other ways.
The normal person is human
There is a limit to what even the normal, healthy person can take. The well-adjusted person is not absolutely secure from all danger of cracking up, at least temporarily.
Pressures are sometimes dramatically extreme, but everyday life can also be frustrating to the point of explosion. The businessman under pressure to make a profit, the student obliged to achieve good grades, the assembly line worker forced to meet a quota—people in many situations must find acceptable outlets for life’s daily pressures.
A psychiatrist, the late Dr. Karen Horney, spoke of three basic character types: those who move towards people, those who move against people, and those who move away from people. These might become, respectively, a successful salesman, a competitive athlete, and a philosopher. Under unfortunate circumstances, the same types might become, respectively, a playboy, a gunman, and a recluse.
Healthy, well-adjusted men and women are subject to human tensions, but they are able to find ways to relieve the tensions without excessive anxiety. You may have already found some of these ways yourself. Here are my suggestions for dealing with emotional upsets: Talk over your worries with a sympathetic friend, relative, doctor,
or anyone else whose judgement you respect. Get away for a while, even if only for a walk. Work off your anger, preferably in some physical activity. Take one thing at a time, especially if you feel overwhelmed by the
pressures of too much to do. Give in sometimes, even if you are certain that you are right. But
face the fact that you might be wrong. Help others. Preoccupation with yourself and your own troubles can
become a vicious circle. Be slow with criticism. Awareness of your own shortcomings and of
others’ is no excuse for harsh criticism. Co-operate. We live in a competitive society, but many situations call
for a co-operative effort. If you compete all the time, you might be
too worn out to enjoy success when you achieve it. Above all, develop a capacity for contentment. Take pleasure in your
physical well-being, in your surroundings, in the small gratifications of your daily life. Learn to enjoy your own company and the
companionship of the people you really care for.
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Although certain foot conditions require the attention of a doctor, most of them can be prevented or helped by things you can do yourself.
The shoes you wear
First of all, wear correctly fitted shoes. If your foot is normal, choose a flexible shank shoe with rounded toes and a straight inner border. It should be long, wide, and deep enough not to cramp the toes or restrict the circulation. The cut of the vamp and the trimmings and straps of women’s shoes often interfere with the circulation. Shoes should be small enough to fit snugly around the heel and provide some support. Medium heels are best, and rubber ones provide good cushions for walking on hard surfaces. Alternating between high and low heels is certainly better than wearing high heels all the time. In the summer, your feet need better ventilation, so your shoes should be roomier and made of lighter, more porous material.
If you think your feet are not normal, do not buy any kind of ‘remedial’ shoes or get arch supporters without consulting a doctor. You may be ‘correcting’ the wrong thing; or your troubles may be due to something other than the shoes you are wearing.
You may stand or walk too much on hard surfaces. Walking around a little helps to relieve the strain of standing. Putting your feet up on a couch or footstool for even a few minutes’ rest at a time often does wonders. You may not be standing or walking properly. When you stand, your feet should be parallel with each other, not toeing out. When you walk, your footprints should make tracks that would almost touch a straight line drawn between them, with the heels just a trifle farther away from the line than the toes.
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